Shinji Ikari, Exposed
by Kei Masaki
Summary: Shinji's POV from "Asuka Langley, Ex-poser"


  
Shinji Ikari, Exposed  
  
An Evangelion fanfic by Kei Masaki  
(keiichi-dono@geocities.com)  
  
Eva don't belong to me, it belongs to Anno-sensei and  
Gainax, yatta yatta yatta.  
  
This is the mirror side of "Asuka Langley, Exposer" by  
Ka-Wing Tam, preapproved and proofread by the writer  
herself. If you want the original, email her  
(tamkawing@yahoo.com) or go to SDAT.  
  
I had a dream, you know.  
In that dream, you were nice.  
In that dream, you looked at me tenderly. You let me hold  
you, and you hugged me back. And when I kissed you--to  
think, me being the one initiating!--you looked surprised,  
but oh so daintily returned it, snuggling against me.  
I wish I were still asleep.  
I wish I were fighting an Angel.  
I wish I were anywhere but here.  
There you are in front of me, your face twisted into a nasty  
sneer as you hook me up to this contraption. Don't you know  
how much prettier you are when you're not trying to be so...  
no, I won't let myself think that about you.  
No matter how much you deserve it...  
"I don't want you chickening out in the middle of this, so  
I'll cut you a deal," you say nonchalantly. "In the case  
that you DO chicken out, you'll have to do the dishes for a  
month. Deal?"  
"A month?!" I yelp. Not for the first time, the question  
"What the HELL do you see in her?!" floats through my head.  
Squelching that, I acquiesce. Some things simply aren't  
worth fighting over. "Oh, whatever."  
Your sneer turns triumphant as you ask your first question.  
"Have you ever kissed Rei Ayanami?"  
Oh, hell... I can already hear that damned rumor mill  
grinding to life. My face already feels like someone  
slammed it into a hibachi...  
"Wha-wha-wha-wha?!" Oh, great one, Ikari, I chide myself.  
The rest of the class seems to be taking my reaction as  
confirmation. The grin on Kensuke's face alone is almost  
enough for "justifiable homicide." The oohs and ahhs get  
even louder when they notice that Ayanami is blushing too...  
And you, my dear fraulein, are no help at all. "Well, have  
you?"  
I can't meet your eyes, not when they're like that, not when  
you're like this...  
"No."  
Funny, that look on your face is almost worth this trouble.  
True to form, though, you recover quickly, and attack from  
another angle. "Have you ever held Rei Ayanami's hand?"  
A feminine cough grabs the attention of everyone in the  
room. I don't need to look to know that it's Ayanami. A  
few of the girls giggle, and I note Kensuke giving you a  
thumbs-up.  
Kensuke, omae wo korosu...  
"No," I repeat, shaking my head.  
Now the look on your face is almost priceless. You're at  
your most attractive when you're like this, when you let me  
see past your façade of superiority and catch a glimpse of  
the girl underneath.  
My luck being what it is, though, that little gap disappears  
quickly, and you have another question. "Do you have a  
crush on any girl in this class?"  
Unfortunately, I can't evade this one. I try twice to give  
a snappish replay--and fail--before finally choking out,  
"Yes."  
The audience reacts--"oohs" and "ahhs" from the girls,  
noncommittal grunts from the boys. I see the uncertainty on  
your face slowly dissolving, being replaced by renewed  
confidence.  
It shows in your voice as you ask the next question. "Is she  
in this room?"  
Ah, Asuka, if only you knew...  
"Yes!" Yes, DAMMIT, is what I want to say right now...  
Now comes the surprising part. "He is SO cute!" "Please,  
please let it be me!" or so say many of the unattached girls  
of the class. The cute ones, too. You look surprised to,  
as if the thought of any girl finding me attractive is so  
unthinkable. That façade is starting to show another crack,  
albeit a small one...  
"Three questions left," you declare, triumph in your  
voice. "Does the lucky girl--" I cringe as your lips curve  
into a sneer when you say those words "--have red eyes?"  
My gaze shifts to Ayanami's face, which is doing a passable  
tomato impression. Everyone else's eyes are on her as  
well. Gomen, Ayanami, for putting you in this position.  
"No."  
Your face falls again, and your number-two expression--the  
"dammit I'm not gonna let you get one up on me!" look--rises  
in its place. "Brown eyes, then?"  
You know, this would be so much easier if it were Miho from  
the volleyball team, or Keiko the home ec. whiz, or Aya the  
swim team captain, or even Hikari. I could go for having a  
cheerful girl shyly offering me a bento box. I wish I  
wanted someone who was nice and gentle...  
"No."  
You look completely lost. "I don't see anyone without brown  
or red eyes," you stage whisper to Kensuke.  
Like I said, this would be so much easier if I had a crush  
on someone who was nice...  
"We can," Kensuke replies quietly.  
...but no. I had to go and fall for you, the girl who lives  
to torment me...  
Your expression changes once again as you become aware of  
all the eyes on you. Once again I see through your armor,  
see the scared, vulnerable girl that I can't get out of my  
mind.  
Much as I wish I could.  
For once, your voice isn't inflected with disdain or  
arrogance. Instead it sounds almost... scared. "Is she... is  
she a stuck-up idiot?" Your eyes are staring at the floor,  
as if afraid to look up.  
"Yes." My voice is no louder. "And she has blue eyes."  
  
I had a dream, you know...  
  
  
This was prompted by a dream I had, almost the mirror image  
of the one Shinji describes in the beginning. Come to think  
of it, the girl was remarkably similar to Asuka...  



End file.
